‘Mum,
there’s something I would like to speak with you and dad about’. Those were the
words of my first son as he asked if we could please connect with him via Skype
video call. I knew it was serious enough from his tone of voice, and as we
waited on the appointed time for the Skype call, I sent a silent prayer of
thanks to God for the fact that whatever it was had come up while we were in
transit to visit with him; and more than this, I thanked God for the
relationship He has helped us build with our children such that they see their dad
and I as their confidants, their primary champions, their safe spaces. Not an
easy feat for many parents with teenage children, but the Lord is our source
and there is nothing He cannot do as long as we open our mouths to speak the
things we believe for in our lives and in the lives of our children, including
the relationships and future we desire to have with and for them.
there’s something I would like to speak with you and dad about’. Those were the
words of my first son as he asked if we could please connect with him via Skype
video call. I knew it was serious enough from his tone of voice, and as we
waited on the appointed time for the Skype call, I sent a silent prayer of
thanks to God for the fact that whatever it was had come up while we were in
transit to visit with him; and more than this, I thanked God for the
relationship He has helped us build with our children such that they see their dad
and I as their confidants, their primary champions, their safe spaces. Not an
easy feat for many parents with teenage children, but the Lord is our source
and there is nothing He cannot do as long as we open our mouths to speak the
things we believe for in our lives and in the lives of our children, including
the relationships and future we desire to have with and for them.
As
we spoke later that evening, he shared his extreme disappointment regarding the
fact that he had not been selected as a Prefect at school. He had desired this
from the moment he entered the school, and he had worked as hard as he could to
meet the set criteria to be made a school Prefect. Indeed, he did make and maintain the criteria…..but, life happened! Based
on the experiences of the past two years, the school committee revised the criteria
for selection of Prefects, and he lost out on a one-point technicality. How
unfair! What a blow! He shared his hurt and frustrations, telling us steps
he had taken to speak with the various authorities in the School selection committee
to know why the last minute changes had been put in place. He wasn’t sure he
could understand that every member of the committee told him he was their top choice,
save for this one technicality which he now didn’t meet. No, it just did not
make that kind of sense to him.
we spoke later that evening, he shared his extreme disappointment regarding the
fact that he had not been selected as a Prefect at school. He had desired this
from the moment he entered the school, and he had worked as hard as he could to
meet the set criteria to be made a school Prefect. Indeed, he did make and maintain the criteria…..but, life happened! Based
on the experiences of the past two years, the school committee revised the criteria
for selection of Prefects, and he lost out on a one-point technicality. How
unfair! What a blow! He shared his hurt and frustrations, telling us steps
he had taken to speak with the various authorities in the School selection committee
to know why the last minute changes had been put in place. He wasn’t sure he
could understand that every member of the committee told him he was their top choice,
save for this one technicality which he now didn’t meet. No, it just did not
make that kind of sense to him.
As
is our way, we said to him that we needed to speak with the head of the school
committee to understand their angle. Hurt as our son was, there are always two
sides to every situation and we needed to be clear on both sides before we
could form opinions or take action if required – especially also since he was not the only candidate
affected. As the principal explained to us the rationale behind the additions to the selection criteria, it became clear that the focus of the school was what was in the best
interest of the students in the first place. They had taken a longer-term view
based on past experiences and we had to agree that their position made sense, disappointed
though our son (and ourselves) might be.
is our way, we said to him that we needed to speak with the head of the school
committee to understand their angle. Hurt as our son was, there are always two
sides to every situation and we needed to be clear on both sides before we
could form opinions or take action if required – especially also since he was not the only candidate
affected. As the principal explained to us the rationale behind the additions to the selection criteria, it became clear that the focus of the school was what was in the best
interest of the students in the first place. They had taken a longer-term view
based on past experiences and we had to agree that their position made sense, disappointed
though our son (and ourselves) might be.
Hejoined us last night for a weekend visit and we then had time to sit down and
share perspectives on the issue. As we explained the position the school had
adopted, we had said to him that if the Lord had it planned for him to make
Prefect, then no machinations of man – no matter how last minute, would have
stood in the way of the purpose of God for his life. We serve a God Who has
said clearly that nothing is too hard for Him. We also then began to share with
him some disappointments that we had had in our own lives and business, which
over time had turned out to be major blessings in disguise. Example after the
other poured out from both his father and I, as the Holy Spirit brought to our remembrance
even those experiences that we hadn’t thought about in years. We assured him
that the One Who says He holds our lives in the palm of His hands; the One
Whose says His plans for us are of good and not of evil; the One Who causes us
to prosper; He is the same One Who will order his steps into a life of purpose
and destiny.
We
reminded him of something we have spoken severally to our children – the fact
that life happens! There is an unpredictability element that not one of us is in control
of. When life happens though, as children of the Living God, the only way to respond is to look to our source
and trust that God has something better ahead. We spoke extensively and by the
end of the evening, our son had clearly come back to a place of peace, to the
glory of God. All through the night though, I found myself thinking over those
things in my life which had played out at the time as disappointments, but
which today I can clearly thank God for. I realized sis, that the things I would
have wished I could go back and change, are those things which I strove to do
in my own strength and which when they played themselves out, eventually added
no real value to my life. But those things which the Lord did not allow to be? Those
things that I yielded to the will of God even though they disappointed, hurt
and confused me? Sis, those are the things that I now see clearly that the Lord
held back from me because He knew the end from the beginning and knew the end was not good. He knew with a certainty, the better plans that He
had ahead of me and kept those things away from me. Thank You Jesus!
reminded him of something we have spoken severally to our children – the fact
that life happens! There is an unpredictability element that not one of us is in control
of. When life happens though, as children of the Living God, the only way to respond is to look to our source
and trust that God has something better ahead. We spoke extensively and by the
end of the evening, our son had clearly come back to a place of peace, to the
glory of God. All through the night though, I found myself thinking over those
things in my life which had played out at the time as disappointments, but
which today I can clearly thank God for. I realized sis, that the things I would
have wished I could go back and change, are those things which I strove to do
in my own strength and which when they played themselves out, eventually added
no real value to my life. But those things which the Lord did not allow to be? Those
things that I yielded to the will of God even though they disappointed, hurt
and confused me? Sis, those are the things that I now see clearly that the Lord
held back from me because He knew the end from the beginning and knew the end was not good. He knew with a certainty, the better plans that He
had ahead of me and kept those things away from me. Thank You Jesus!
By
the grace of God, you and I still have many more years to live out here on the
earth. If we are to live out the life of abundance that the Lord has planned
for us; if indeed our latter days are to continue to be greater than our
former; then sis, you and I need to cry unto God and ask Him to continue to
disappoint us in those things that He knows for certain will lead us into
regret. Yes sis, we need to plead with God not to ever leave us to our own
devices regardless of how painful this exercise might be in the short term. We need
God to disappoint those of our intentions and aspirations that have neither
earthly nor eternal value. He is a God who disappoints the devices of the
crafty such that their hands cannot perform their enterprise, is He not? Well sis,
truth is that sometimes our own devices and machinations add up to a craftiness
towards ourselves…if we only but knew it then. At those times sis, we surely
need God to disappoint our efforts. We need God to order our steps aright sis. If
He is to do this, then you and I need to be ready for any breaking, shaking, or
moving around that God needs to do to ensure we are always fully in His will.
the grace of God, you and I still have many more years to live out here on the
earth. If we are to live out the life of abundance that the Lord has planned
for us; if indeed our latter days are to continue to be greater than our
former; then sis, you and I need to cry unto God and ask Him to continue to
disappoint us in those things that He knows for certain will lead us into
regret. Yes sis, we need to plead with God not to ever leave us to our own
devices regardless of how painful this exercise might be in the short term. We need
God to disappoint those of our intentions and aspirations that have neither
earthly nor eternal value. He is a God who disappoints the devices of the
crafty such that their hands cannot perform their enterprise, is He not? Well sis,
truth is that sometimes our own devices and machinations add up to a craftiness
towards ourselves…if we only but knew it then. At those times sis, we surely
need God to disappoint our efforts. We need God to order our steps aright sis. If
He is to do this, then you and I need to be ready for any breaking, shaking, or
moving around that God needs to do to ensure we are always fully in His will.
Sis,
you and I have to have the constant conviction that the Lord is good, and all
He does is good for us. If we do, then we will be constantly in a place of
expectation when things don’t go the way we had planned. If we do, then beyond
out initial disappointments, we will quickly move into a place of ‘Halleluyah!’
and praise for the better things which we are convinced the Lord will bring our
way. In this place of expectation, God sees our total trust and reliance on
Him, and lovingly smiles down and opens the windows of heaven wider still over
us. In the end, we will surely look back and say ‘Thank You Lord for the
blessing of that disappointment’.
you and I have to have the constant conviction that the Lord is good, and all
He does is good for us. If we do, then we will be constantly in a place of
expectation when things don’t go the way we had planned. If we do, then beyond
out initial disappointments, we will quickly move into a place of ‘Halleluyah!’
and praise for the better things which we are convinced the Lord will bring our
way. In this place of expectation, God sees our total trust and reliance on
Him, and lovingly smiles down and opens the windows of heaven wider still over
us. In the end, we will surely look back and say ‘Thank You Lord for the
blessing of that disappointment’.
Regardless of how life plays out sis, you and
I will make it in the end. The greater One is working all things out for our
good. I believe this with all that is in me. I have seen this play out time and
again in my life. So shall it be in your life sis. At the end of every
disappointment, the Lord will ensure that your latter is so much greater than
your past. So shall it be, in Jesus name.
I will make it in the end. The greater One is working all things out for our
good. I believe this with all that is in me. I have seen this play out time and
again in my life. So shall it be in your life sis. At the end of every
disappointment, the Lord will ensure that your latter is so much greater than
your past. So shall it be, in Jesus name.
Be
blessed sis….. for you surely are!
blessed sis….. for you surely are!
I'm beginning to panic, that people will think, doesn't this person ever have anything else to say 🙂
All I can say about this week's post is 'wow'. There's just so much truth contained in it. It's a message that most of us are probably familiar with in one way or another, but really, this is real new wine.
I am really blessed by this blog and I pray many more come to be blessed by it too.
It is a food for thought for everyone. Little time devoted for the young ones in re-assuring and clearing their doubts goes a long way in building their trust in God and their Self-confidence.