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I kinda like me!

By May 16th, 2012Uncategorized8 min read

Scratch that! I don’t just kinda like me. I love me!

I absolutely love me! I love my strengths, I love my weaknesses and insecurities; I love my full hips and my small lips; I love my mind and my unique way of thinking; I love that I am usually different in a crowd; I love my husband; I love my many children; I  love my many skills; I love the many things that I cannot do and which I am (now) at peace with; I love my few but deeply treasured friends; I love my mostly unknown enemies (yes, even they serve a purpose); I love my occasional moods and idiosyncrasies; I love my insane love for chocolates and cheesecake (not to mention hot peppered jollof rice and stewed beef, slurp!); I love my highs and I love my lows; I love my love for learning; I love my love for helping others grow; I love my one-too-many gray hairs; I love my old-school approach to just about everything; I love my love for silence; I love my love for love and laughter.

Indeed, if you haven’t gotten my drift yet, let me summarize again and say this: ‘Girrrllll, I simply truly just love me! I am crazy about authentic, super yet inadequate, introverted yet extroverted, quiet yet crazy, shy yet bold, simple yet strong, blah blah blah me! I love me….full stop!  Wait for it………. Whew!!!!!  Ah, but it feels great to exhale!

Hmmm, I can already see you trying to figure out what’s up with me today right? I feel you sis. Here’s the thing. I had a couple of experiences and interactions after my last post that left me in a place of deep introspection. What kept coming back to me was how for most people, their biggest challenges actually stem from a very deep-rooted insecurity about themselves. I’m no psychologist, but methinks too many of us don’t know ourselves, don’t understand ourselves, and worse still, don’t like ourselves enough. From that standpoint therefore, it’s so easy to create the cracks in our armour that allow the enemy easy access into our minds and psyche. I have come to realise that so many of us (men and women alike) are hiding our quiet insecurities under the guise of fine clothing, shoes, bags, jewellery, power suits, hair and nails. We mask our real selves even more with our gadgets (bb’s ipads, iphones, etc). Then there are also those of us who mask our real selves further still behind the who-we-know’s and who-we-hang-with’s; trying so hard to redefine ourselves in the shadow of others who in our estimation are better than we are in some way or the other. Sadly, in many ways we truly just don’t realise that all we are doing is hiding from facing up to who we really are, and you can only be so willing to hide from you if you just don’t like the ‘you’ that you really are in your quiet space.

Sis, go stand naked (yes, stark!) in front of a full length mirror. Go do this the very first chance you have today. Take a good look at you sis. Examine every inch and every bulge, every smooth skin and every wrinkle, every stretch-mark and every crinkle. From the top of your head to the tip of your toes, look pointedly at every part of you, girl. When you are done, say to out loud to yourself ‘Fearfully and Wonderfully made!’ Repeat this to your reflection as many times as it may take you to begin to believe it. Then put some clothes on, but no make-up pls (let’s work on the authentic you). Pull out a jotter and a pen and plant yourself on a seat in from of the same mirror. Look at yourself again sis. Look straight and deeply into your own eyes and ask yourself ‘Who am I?’ Be truthful to you about your strengths and your shortcomings. As my friend DNW would say ‘brag on yourself’. Yes sis, write down everything you know to be great about yourself. Then more honestly, write down everything you know to be not-so-great about you. Be real with you sis (you can burn your list later, lol). When you are done with this, then say to yourself again, ‘I’m not perfect, but I’m an awesome work in progress!’

From my perspective, an awesome WIP is all any of us really ever needs to be. The Bible makes clear that there is no one perfect, not one – save for our God who is Himself perfection. Only God has it all so cut yourself some slack sis. God does not worry about His looks – He doesn’t need to. He is an awesome wonder, radiant and majestic, too beautiful to behold; He does not worry if He has the right smarts – He is wisdom and understanding all by Himself. God does not worry about His character – He is a loving, charming, loyal, a friend that sticks closer than a brother, faithful, compassionate, trustworthy. He does not worry about anyone else having talents and abilities that He does not have. No, He is the source of all power, all gifts and talents. He is not in competition with anyone; He is God all by Himself! God sees it all, has it all, knows it all, and has already planned it all.

If we truly deeply believe this, then we must truly believe that He made us in His image and likeness; that He fashioned us for His purpose and glory; that He it is who put our every gifts and talents (be it one or many) in us. We must know and know with deep conviction that God is incapable of making mistakes. He designed us the way we are. He didn’t need us to be just like Miss A or Mrs B. Oh no, no, no! My God, all perfect and all knowing, designed me to be simply uniquely me, and you to be uniquely You! He designed each and every one of us for His glory, to do His will and for His pleasure. Regardless of anything about you that you may find fault with, if you are a born-again believing child of the Most High God, there is one truth that should never escape you – God loves you just the way you are. Whatever your imperfections (as you see/perceive them to be), you just have to come to that place where you love who you are just as you are, because your Father in heaven loves you just the way you are. I dare say that He loves you even more through every mistake and every trial that tries to break your spirit. Just ask any earthly parent if you aren’t one yet. We love our children regardless!

I haven’t always been in this place. I have walked my walks of shame, of uncertainties and insecurities, of inferiority complexes and of outright self-condemnation. But one day, I allowed the truth of God’s Word to really wash over me and this is what I ask you to open your heart to today.  Loving me is for me about no one else and nothing else, but my conviction that I am the apple of God’s eye. I am the clay in the Potter’s hand. He does not throw me away due to my imperfections. No, He just smiles lovingly and continues to mould me. He is confident because He sees me as I ‘am’ when His work is finished. I choose to be confident because I know He is the master craftsman and so I can be sure my end will be perfect. I encourage you to take this walk with me today sis. Fall in love with you and love you to the fullest!

So go strut your stuff in front of everyone girl. No matter what they think or what they say about you, you are who???……. YOU! Again, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Don’t you ever forget that!

(Ps: the paragraph above was added by my 12yr old daughter with love to you. Thanks Michy)

Be blessed sis….. because you truly are!


  • First of all, I love that Michy is on point about this as well cos the amount of crazy peer-hating (amongst friends!) that is going on in our schools is absurd. I tell my daughter over and over, love yourself for who and what you are all by yourself based on what God says about you backed up by what I, your mama tells you! Lol! In short, don't let your friends as much as you may like the influence how you feel about yourself.

    I know, it is easier said than done…but you have really nailed it Audrey. Without a true acceptance of self, warts and all, we have nothing authentic to offer others…..and even though you might fool them for a while, eventually that mask will crack…..

    There is difference btw arrogance and healthy self-appreciation…. especially when your love for you springs forth from the love you understand God has for you. Not loving yourself is like poking God in the eye! Like telling him he has poor taste or bad judgement! Kai! why would you do that?

    Thanks Audrey for this nice kick in the derriere! We all need to remember that we are the signet rings on the finger of a Superlative God who has serious taste. He does not wear fake bling!

  • I like your post. Its not just about physical looks, its also about our lot in life. The one who is not in a high-powered job, feels bad, overlooking the gift of freedom to do things with family and friends without limiting schedules and deadlines. The one who has the job is striving so hard to go even higher.

    Lately, I have had to admit that God knows me better than I know myself. I can trust His plan for me. Frequently, when measured against what I see, it doesn't seem so. However, He's teaching me that I don't always know what is behind the scene in those plans that attract me. Its because He knows that He holds me back.

    I am understanding that because He loves me, the me that I am is the best for me. I am CHOOSING to love me as I am. Not easy, but with His help, I am making progress.

  • Unknown says:

    I have learnt something from Modupe,s comment. I will go on and search for books to read that have to do with my dream of teaching French to private individuals may be that will help me get it right or teach me how to change my strategy. Thanks so much Modupe and every one. . . .

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