Life! Nothing short of interesting for sure! I find it absolutely amazing how life gets in the way of living, don’t you? We are so busy doing this and doing that, playing a multitude of roles each day. Sometimes, you just want to sit down and scream ‘Enough!’ but alas, no matter how long you sit for, you’ve got to rise again and get moving lest clinical depression cometh upon thee abi?
So yours truly has been busy getting on with life and all my well-intentioned plans of blogging weekly have remained that…the best of intentions. I refuse to be discouraged though. More than anything else, my focus within the ambit of this blog is that I should always have a message…. something to share that is as real to you as it is to me, and that we can all grow stronger out of it.
I had a bit of a ‘down’ period last week (seems there’s one too many of these occurring in my life these days, but the Lord is my strength and these too SHALL pass). Where was I? Hmmm! Okay, so I was in a bit of a slump and I felt that I had moved away from God…… but more frightening was a deep feeling that God had moved away from me. Being someone who is constantly at the mercy seat, reminding God that since He knows everything, it’s up to Him to ensure that – no matter what my sins past and present may be, He has to find a way to be sure that my life is used for His glory; the feeling of abandonment was a bit more than I could handle.
And trust the enemy to capitalize on every spiritual ‘down-time’. Oh, but did he send those fiery darts! Visions and reminders of EVERY terrible thing that I have ever done, every negative thought, every situation of pride, every past sin of the flesh, every lie, every …… well just about every wrong thing you can imagine. I found myself replaying events from 15-20 years past and feeling a weight of sin that was as real today as when the events occurred. In the middle of this, strange and recurring tensions – albeit minor enough, between my husband and I continually played out; all sorts of crazy situations began to manifest at the work place; and yours truly slowly sunk deeper into the snare which the fowler had set.
So here I was on Friday, after a hard day at work and incorrigible traffic on the way home. Heavy with the weight of the world, I walked into my room, dropped my bag and literally slid down to my knees and thereafter lay flat and face down on the floor….fully prostrate before my God. I tried to cry but guess what? No tears could come! Yes, I found myself in a ‘with groanings that could not be uttered’ place. When the Spirit finally gave me utterance, all I could say over and over again was ‘Please Lord’.
Here’s the funny thing! While I was saying this, my mind was fully alert and praying a different prayer. It was an amazing experience. My mind …or should I say, my spirit, was reminding God that only He could make all things beautiful for me. I reminded Him that while I was not perfect, I love Him so much and am truly focused on conforming to His image and I am working this daily one step at a time. I was reminding Him that He said we should take captive every thought that tries to exalt itself above the Word of God. I asked Him to give me strength to do this for I had none of my own right then. I found myself confessing over and over again ‘Depression shall not come over me. Depression shall not come over me. I am Blood-bought’. I told God that I knew I was a sinner but that I am walking in His righteousness. I reminded Him that He needed to look at me and not see my sins but see the Blood of Jesus which covers me. I reminded Him that He was the one who could never lose a battle and I so needed Him to fight this one for me.
Slowly but surely,. I found myself pulling up to my knees and I crawled up to the side of …..my bed, yes, but at that point what I saw was the mercy seat and I repeatedly said out loud ‘Mercy Lord, Mercy’. My Bible was just within arm’s reach. Funny, because I usually leave it at my bed head after my morning quiet time, but there it was….just close enough to reach. I had a sense that I needed a ‘Word in due season’. As I looked at my Bible, the enemy pounced again. I had a sense that once I opened the Bible all would be well, but the enemy came with a thought so vivid ‘So you think this will be one of those times when you open your Bible and the Scripture you see is exactly right for your situation. Are you a magician? Don’t bother, God is just not with you.’ Truthfully, I hesitated. That just sounded so appropriate in view of where I was that day. But, the enemy made a mistake. He used the word ‘magician’.
Somewhere deep inside I realised that yes, God is not a magician. He is so much more. So so so much more! So that could not have been from Him. I thought to myself, well worst case, I will open the Bible and He will not speak… and in that case, I would still be in the same place so nothing lost. On the other hand….. if He spoke???
I slowly reached out and opened my Bible and my Lord God omnipotent spoke to me LOUD & CLEAR. I have a Joyce Meyer Amplified Bible and it opened straightaway to a page where there was a very full-paged study scripture and study note on the difference between CONDENMNATION and CONVICTION. You would need to look into this yourself but suffice to say that the Lord simply reminded me that He does not condemn, no that’s not His style and indeed condemnation would totally negate the sacrifice He made for us through His son Jesus Christ. He reminded me that condemnation is the devils tool to keep us down and numb our spirits towards the truth of God’s Word.
God reminded me that He would rather convict us in our spirit’s and guide us daily so that we are able to grow stronger and ultimately overcome ‘those sins that so easily beset us’. God reminded me that He loves me even though He hates any sin in my life. He reminded me that He created me so He could pour forth His love, grace and mercy into my life. He reminded me that even through the storm He would always be with me. He reminded me that He has continually asked me to cast my burdens upon Him and He will sustain me. Ah yes, my Lord God omnipotent reached down that Friday and drew me out of the snare of the fowler. As I read my Bible, the Holy Spirit brought one scripture after the other to my remembrance. Slowly, my earlier cries of ‘Peace Lord’ became real.
Have you ever been in that place where the peace of God washes over you? It’s always such a delight isn’t it. I didn’t want to rise, no, I just wanted to stay in that place of His power. But God knows all things and perhaps He knew the battle in the Spirit was not fully over. We had won yes, but remember how He did at the red sea? Not only were the Egyptians losers, but He went further to ensure that ‘the horse and rider were thrown into the sea’. So, without any premeditation whatsoever, I found myself singing songs of praise at the top of my lungs. One after the other, songs of victory just spilled from my lips. I didn’t need to pray, I just sang in manifestation of God’s assurances that the divine cord between Him and I would never be broken. I sang in the assurance that I may not be perfect, but I serve a perfect God – a God who has purposed that I will make impact for His Kingdom; a God who has good plans for me; a God who will keep my in His tabernacle; a God who listens every time His son Jesus comes back to intercede for me.
Yes, it was a battle poorly fought (on my part) but gloriously won by the power of the Holy Spirit. What is my message to you today? I know you are also probably allowing life to take away your living. The cares of the world are designed to do just that. I know therefore that you may be in the middle of a slump or perhaps there is one waiting for you somewhere upfront. God never promised us a life without problems, rather He has said He will be with us through them all and we will come out victorious. Even I know that some time in future, life may try to pull me down again and I believe this experience was designed by God to serve as a ‘memorial’ for me for whenever life begins to challenge me to the extent of crying ‘Enough!!!’.
The biggest challenge of Christianity is putting God and His Word into practice when we are pressed down. But it does work and this is my message to you today. When life presses you, drop to your knees… or like the angels, fall prostrate before God and open your spirit to Him. Let’s trust Him that indeed whatever fires we are going through, He as the refiner, will bring us through better and more beautiful than before. Continually confess His divine glory upon your life and remind Him that He it is that will work all things out for your good.
More than anything else, let’s stay in the place of praise. I have found that there is victory there….. I don’t know about you, but I thank God for the mercy seat. There are no gates there, no barricades, it’s not set apart for certain people…….it’s always there, right where we are.
Be blessed people, for you ARE blessed!